"The Prayer"

Since last Friday, I have had something heavy on my heart. It has been there for a long time, but it hit me hard on this particular day. I would rather not go into too much detail, but I heard a story of a young man passing away. I was instantly bothered and deepenly saddened for this man. I thought, "How could God do this? Why did he die so young?" I found myself feeling sorry for this man. I wish I could have gone to Heaven and asked God to send him back, along with all of the other loved ones I miss. But here's the thing, I can't do this. I can pray all day long for death to be fake, but it is real. I decided I wanted to take a positive step in my faith and learn about Heaven. I realized I had a much bigger problem than I realized. My inspiration and one of my best friends in the entire world, Maryhelen, gave me the best advice possible. She told me to turn to God and strengthen my faith. For she feels Heaven to be the best place where we will be lucky to live someday. She said the only thing that would make her sad if she died, was leaving her two boys and her husband. Wow! I was shocked. I kept thinking, "How could she feel this way? Why would she ever want to leave this place? It's great!" Well, after a long and emotionally tiring day, I found a road to where I believe I will find my answer. Maryhelen presented me with a book to read-"90 Minutes In Heaven." At first I thought there was no way I would read that because it might prove that death is real, and there is no escaping it.

After dinner with my family on Friday night, I couldn't drive fast enough to get to Barnes & Noble so I could start my journey with God. I purchased the book, and I immediatly became engrossed in the words. This story is almost unbelievable to simply hear, but when I read the words on the page, I felt chills come over my body, and I truly sensed God protecting me. I read closely to the details of Heaven as the man described it. I was amazed by his words. He said he was greeted by his loved ones (his grandfather who happened to be his best friend), he heard beautiful music all in unison, and the most amazing part of all is when he said everyone was blemish/scar free. When I read that his grandfather was the first person to greet him at the Pearly Gates, a smile covered my face. For those of you who do not know, my husband lost his grandfather a couple years ago to cancer. Hunter and his grandfather were two of a kind, best friends, and most of all Hunter loved him like his own father. Even to this day, it is hard for Hunter to talk about his Pappa. I felt God pulling at me saying, "You have got to go tell Hunter this! He will be so excited to know that Pappa will be there waiting for him." I immediatly told Hunter what I read, and told him not to worry-he will be waiting with open arms in the front of the gate. It also made my heart smile knowing I would be able to meet him. From the first meeting of Hunter's parents and falling in love with his family, they all said to me they wished Pappa could have met me. I yearn to know this man. This man is loved by so many people, and everyone speaks so highly of him. After reading this, I knew not only would he be waiting on Hunter, he would also be waiting on me, along with the rest of my family and friends.

Another thing that amazed me was everyone in heaven were described as beautiful as the day they were born. He said all of the worries and anxieties he had on Earth were instantly vanished from him. He could no longer feel pain; he felt warmth and love. I became emotional. A part of me felt guilty for feeling that Heaven was a place to fear, but I soon realized that I didn't fear it, I was simply unsure of how great things would be. I am still in the beginning of the book, but I know with each chapter and with each prayer to God I will be free of my biggest fear-death. I know that I may never be as emotionally and spiritually strong as Maryhelen, but I hope that God and I create a deeper relationship where I can look forward to the days spent with him in eternity. I ask my family and friends to pray for me so I can find my inner peace. I love everyone who is reading this.

The following link is to my favorite song that gives me the inspiration and hope I need everyday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeGdEX5E_Y